Myths on Divorce!

 What’s a topic that most people don’t often associate when it comes to family relations? Divorce. In my course we read about divorce and the impact it has on family relations. One of the first things I read was that divorce results from “irreconcilable differences”. Have you ever heard that 50% of all marriages end in divorce? Have you ever heard that the statistic isn’t true? I didn’t know that until I did my readings this week. In the last decade less than 25% of couples were actually divorced. Here is another myth. Do you think if your neighbor Sally found out her husband was cheating on her that she would divorce him right then and there? The data suggests that 63% of Americans whose partner had an affair chose to save the marriage. Crazy! These are all myths that I have been guilty of believe in. It gets better. 50% report that they have managed to create a marriage better than the one they had before the affair. From what I learn from the statistics I learn that it is possible to find love with your spouse again even after an affair. I But the world would say others wise. Now you might say that divorce is better for the kids, because it would be unfair to the kids for them to have parents who no longer love each other. But we often forget that divorce and remaining married (and hating) are not the only options. Their are opportunities and chances for reconciliation. One thing that goes against this myth is that children need their fathers. And on average when a family has divorced parents the father lives about 400 miles away from their family. Other things happen too. More often than the not the mother is likely to move towards her support group which is sometimes not near the father, fathers need better paying jobs because the laws requires them to support multiple incomes now, and after the age of 12 children are disinterested in their fathers once they start being able to spend time with friends over the weekend and such. Another myth is that at the end of the day it is better for the adults. But that is not true. Most adults go on to find a second marriage, and often they regret leaving their first. Does that sound like it is better for the adults? Not all divorces are wrong, but most marriages can do more to save their marriage. How much is a family worth to a person? You will know based off their willingness to make necessary sacrifices in their marriages to create a better environment for their families. I Grew up having an uncle and aunt who were divorced. I remember the toll it took on their coulda and the stress it caused. I do not know their whole story but I do know that it impacted their family forever. I also know of families in my religious community who made it through their marriage difficulties. Those people are some of the best people I know. I also know that sometimes it is better and sometimes even safer for a spouse to divorce. At the end of the day I know there is a God. And the knows what the right decision is for each of us and our very unique situations. One of my favorite primary hymns says: “God gave us families, to help us become what he wants us to be, this is how he shares his love for the family is of God”. I truly believe those words. I would invite all of you to share the myths of divorce with someone who might need it. It might shed a light of hope that they haven’t seen before!