ABCX

Have you ever had a stressful situation happen to your family? Where it felt like all hell broke loose? I know I have had that situation happen to me and my family before. While sitting in my Family Relations course this week I found it oddly comforting to heart that stressful situations are normal to all families. And most importantly there is a scientific way to look at the way stress occurs in families. This is called the ABCX model. The ABCX model measures how people cope with stress within the unit of a family. A represents the stressor event that happens, B is the resources that are available to the family, C is how the family views the stressor, and x is how likely the crisis is to happen. Together B and C can determine whether A will result in a crisis. The ABCX model also takes into account the "social context" and how adaptable the family is to the crisis. This tool is great to use when families experience counseling. But even more important, it is essential for all of us to recognize these resources in our own family units. What is the stressor that is occurring within our family? Do we know what that stressor is? Maybe there is a stressor that exists but we either aren't aware of it or are not sure what it exactly is. What are our resources? For me, I saw many different resources growing up. I found a lot of them in my own religion and church community. Part of my religion includes being part of a youth group. Growing up with that support was probably one of the best resources I had in order to make it through life. My parents were always there for me and I was always grateful for that. One week my mother was out of town and my father couldn't help me because he was at work. I had an assignment that was due that day but didn't have the time to go home and grab it myself. I called my young women leader (youth leader) and asked her if she could help me grab my assignment. She might've thought it was such a little act but for me, it was a pivotal moment in my life. It helped me understand what resources were around me and how to use and trust them. Looking at the way my family functioned growing up is interesting. I respect my parents for the ability they had to be honest with us and to let us know that we were loved even among conflict. I think my family handled stress in the best way possible. That way included: transparency, empathy, and communication. This usually happened around the dinner table for all of us. And I miss that. I don't miss stress but I miss how we combated the stressors in our life by simply being together and talking through our issues. Whether that be as a family or as brother and sister or parent and child. It is so important to learn what the ABCX's in your life are. These will help us be able to resolve conflict better. I believe this model exists because the family is truly the most important unit in the world. It's where we receive our support, understanding, laughter, and most of all love. One of my favorite children's hymnals says "God gave us families to help us become what he wants us to be, this is how he shares his love, for the family is of God". No matter what happens to my family I know these things are true. And I am grateful to have learned about this lesson this week! Maybe comment below what some of your experiences with resources have been! Thanks for reading :)